Self-compassion is essential for psychological well-being. It is also an important starting point for chaplains and carers of the aged or of anyone in a dependent relationship. Mindful self-compassion is a '3rd wave' cognitive behavioural therapy that does not try to change symptoms but encourages a shift in attitudes'in this case with ourselves. The work of Kristen Neff is outlined with her three principles to achieve self-compassion. The psychoanalytic concept of 'hate in the counter-transference' illustrates the difficulties of being a carer in a dependent relationship. Theological implications are discussed with a consideration of whether God actually likes us.